Thursday, 05/08/03
Every day is precious
By ROB PAYNE
''If I can do anything for you, please let me know.'' We hear it at least once a day.
Diagnosed with a disease that doctors say is always fatal, with no known cause and no cure, family, friends and strangers are at loss as to what to say or do.
We never thought we would be on the receiving end of charity. Prior to diagnosis we had two happy, healthy children, jobs we both loved, had just moved into our dream house in Fieldstone Farms and belonged to a vibrant and growing church.
We are driven, hard-working people who have always pulled our own weight. Marcy sold potholders door-to-door when she was nine years old. I cut grass to buy my first car at 15 ? 6 months before I could drive.
So it's very hard to ask for help.
We were surprised last May when Mariellen, a neighbor across the street, called and said she wanted to bring dinner for our family that night. We told her, ''No, that's OK, we went to the store last weekend and have something ready to fix tonight.''
''Well, you can fix that another night. I would really like to bring some soup that I've made,'' she insisted.
When someone doesn't take ''no'' for an answer, you say ''yes.''
Understand: We had met this woman and her family and waved to them as our minivans passed in the street, but we didn't know her and she didn't know us.
But that night she came into our home and into our hearts. She dropped off the soup, salad and dessert and before leaving said, ''You can fix what you want tomorrow night, but Tracy ? you know her, two doors down ? wants to bring dinner the next night.''
Neighbors brought dinner every other night for the month of May. At the end of May, Mariellen brought us a list showing who was bringing dinner for the month of June. By July, neighbors started bringing dinner every single weeknight. They have continued bringing dinner to us every night since.
Mariellen must have gone door-to-door telling our story and ''signing up'' people who were willing to help.
It is a great burden lifted not to have worry about deciding what to have for dinner, getting the groceries, cooking the meal, and cleaning up the pots and pans. But more than that, it was (and continues to be) a great way to meet and get to know people who live near us.
If someone you know is going through some troubling times, consider organizing a neighborhood meal program. You are sure to bless the troubled. If you don't consider yourself a ''giver,'' do it for a more selfish reason. We don't believe it, but Mariellen says that she has been blessed more than we.
Rob Payne is the husband of Marcy Payne, who was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) in August 2000. Since then, Marcy has gone from winning 5K and 10K races to being quadriplegic and on a ventilator at home. For more about Marcy, or to receive e-mail updates on her condition, visit www.everydayisprecious.com. Readers may contribute to her care by sending donations to:
Every Day Is Precious
2051 Harvington Drive
Franklin, TN 37069.