A Eulogy for Fred Dixon By Chris Pendergast, PALS Ride for Life Founder

Fred Dixon was my longest-living ALS friend; we were diagnosed around the same time in the early 90?s. He was a long-term Ride for Lifer. But more than that, he was my hero and role model. Fred taught me what quiet dignity, perseverance and courage meant. Among the many tough ALS patients I have been privileged to know, Fred was in a class by himself.

Looking from the outside, Fred never had it easy. He grew up in an inner city, but worked hard and got a good education. He was accepted to one of the best colleges in the nation, Princeton University and graduated with a science degree. He was a vital employee in a major corporation rising to a director. He was churchman, a husband, and a father. He threw himself into all and accepted nothing but the best from himself and those around him.

In 1998 when I completed the first Ride for Life, which went from New York City to Washington, DC, I decided to do it again the following year and encouraged other Riders to join me. Fred welcomed me to his support group that was hosted by ALSA Philadelphia. In the winter of 1999, he arranged for his company to host the support group and coordinated the audio-visual presentation of Ride l998. Fred was the very first patient who gave me the initial support that enabled me to go forward.

When the Ride passed through his community of Lawrenceville, New Jersey that year, he helped coordinate a municipal reception. Although he did not go on the road with us, he did give us his support and assistance. The following year, when the Ride again went through his town, Fred made arrangements to feed us and to put us up over night at various houses in his neighborhood. Since Fred was no longer able to do the stairs to his bedroom, it was vacant. Like the gracious host he was, he offered his own bed for us to use for the night. We sat up for hours and talked.

That was the last year the Ride did that route. But Fred remained an ardent supporter and we talked often by email. Close in age, we shared many of life?s milestones together, including children of similar age and our joint retirement this year. I found myself often seeking his counsel. He had a command of life and a great wisdom.

Fred?s service was packed, a tribute to his impact on his community. He now is with his sweet wife, Marty, who had died two years earlier. I know Fred missed her. His three beautiful children and recent grandchild filled his heart with happiness. But I know the happiness he feels now is beyond understanding.

I will continue without Fred, but with more uncertainty. Who will replace his cutting wit and brilliant advice?

In too brief a time span, our Ride family has suffered the pain of losing six courageous Riders. Each had given freely and bravely of themselves so that this cure can be found. How indebted we all are to their indomitable spirit. God bless them for making their personal fight against ALS so public.

They made the down payment for a cure with their lives. It?s up to us now, their surviving family and friends along with remaining patients, to finish the job.

==========

The Lawrence Ledger
Lawrence, NJ
By: Lea Kahn, Staff Writer
09/25/2003

A strong-willed, courageous man who loved life and lived it with gusto ? that's how friends and family described Fred Dixon, a longtime Lawrence, NJ resident of Winnipeg Lane and former school board member who died last week.

Mr. Dixon, 54, died Friday of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS. It is a rare disease that is commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease, after the famous New York Yankees baseball player who also suffered from it.

"Fred was one of the strongest individuals I have ever known. He knew what direction he wanted to go in," said longtime friend Buz Donnelly, who served on the Lawrence Township Board of Education with Mr. Dixon.

Mr. Donnelly said he became acquainted with Mr. Dixon about six months before Mr. Dixon was appointed to fill a vacancy on the school board in 1993. He was elected to a three-year term in 1994, but he did not seek re-election.

"Fred savored life," he said. "He would not give in ? never, ever. I never saw him lose his sense of humor because of his illness. He made the best of it. He never gave the appearance of being angry."

The two men formed a lasting friendship outside of the school board, Mr. Donnelly said. They discovered a common bond ? a love of fried catfish, which is a popular Southern dish. Mr. Dixon was born in Albany, Ga., but raised in Trenton. Mr. Donnelly was stationed at Moody Air Force Base in nearby Valdosta, Ga.

Every week, Mr. Dixon, Mr. Donnelly and a few friends would gather for a catfish dinner and a movie. It was their way of keeping in touch with Mr. Dixon, he said.

Mr. Dixon was an extremely intelligent man and a good person, Mr. Donnelly said. Mr. Dixon coped with his 13-year illness with the support of those who cared about him, including neighbors and friends, he added.

Former school board member Tom Wilfrid said he had known Mr. Dixon for more than 20 years. His sons and Mr. Dixon's son, Damien, played soccer together and also went through Cub Scouts together.

"In Scouting, in soccer and on the Board of Education, Fred was a natural leader and was always reliable, reasonable and fair," Dr. Wilfrid said. "He was proud of his roots in Trenton, and he never forgot those roots as he progressed through Princeton University and the University of California, and pursued his career at the Sarnoff Corporation."

In his long battle to affirm life while enduring ALS, Mr. Dixon showed extraordinary courage, good humor and concern for those around him, Dr. Wilfrid said. He added that he learned much from Mr. Dixon, and from the friends and neighbors who cared for him during his illness. Mr. Dixon's death was inevitable, but still untimely, he said.

Mr. Dixon was a "great" school board member, said Claire Sheff Kohn, the former Lawrence schools superintendent. He knew how to be challenging when it was appropriate, but he did so in a very professional way, she said. But he was also supportive when it was appropriate, she added.

"Fred had a low tolerance for irrelevant arguments, and he would quickly call (the issue)," Dr. Kohn said. "He didn't want to waste time. He always did his homework when he was a school board member, which I appreciated.

"He was extremely courageous in the face of horrible tragedy ? his wife's untimely death and his own. He had strong religious faith. He was not going to give up. He was persevering and he had this 'I'm going to lick it' attitude."

Mr. Dixon's wife, Marthaliese Dixon, died several years ago. She worked in the main office at Lawrence High School.

Liese Dixon, Mr. Dixon's eldest daughter, said that when she thinks of her father, "I see a smile and a roll of the eyes." He had an indomitable spirit, she said, adding that he loved his family, his faith and his friends.

Mr. Dixon loved his granddaughter, Leila, said Ms. Dixon. His eyes would light up when he saw his granddaughter, she said. The family would strap Leila in Mr. Dixon's lap in his motorized wheelchair and they would ride around.

Her father loved children, said Dee Dee Dixon. He could be found in the neighborhood, playing with the children. When family came to visit, he would play with the youngsters on the floor, she said.

Damien Dixon and his sisters agreed that their father had a lot of pride and high expectations. When their father thought they had reached the bar he had set for them, he would raise it another notch, Damien Dixon said.

"He wanted to show the world that ALS does not define who you are," Damien Dixon said. "He kept working quite a long time (after he was diagnosed with ALS). His basic attitude was that you worked with people and you did not hide."

Mr. Dixon had a "presence," his son said. When Mr. Dixon entered a room, everyone took notice. No matter where he was or who was with him, he almost never escaped notice, Damien Dixon said.

"If you met him and spent time with him, you either liked him or you didn't like him ? but you never forgot him," Liese Dixon said of her father.

Mr. Dixon's fiancée, Marion Fisher, said that he once commented that she saw him the way God does, as a whole man ? not as a wreck.

"That is certainly true," Ms. Fisher said. "To me, he was always whole. We both felt blessed to have each other. His love for life was so strong that he willingly endured incredible struggles to get through each day. And he did it without complaint."

In addition to his three children and one grandchild, Mr. Dixon is survived by his fiancée, Marion Fisher; his brothers, William Thomas Dixon, Bobby Lee Dixon, Johnnie D. Dixon, Donald Bruce Dixon and Michael Dixon; and his sisters, Earline Dixon and Patricia Brown.

Other survivors include nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends equally esteemed as kin.

Mr. Dixon was predeceased by his parents, Hattie Lee Dixon and Freeman Dixon Sr.; his wife, Marthaliese E. Dixon; brothers Norman Solomon Dixon and Freeman Dixon Jr.; and his sister Elvie Ruth Eaddy.

Mr. Dixon graduated from Trenton Central High School, Princeton University and the University of California at Irvine. He worked for the Sarnoff Corp. for 27 years, retiring as director of contract acquisition in 2002.